Make your own free website on

KCLG&S presented...

Count Spatula


'Spatula' was performed on March 13th, 1999 at the Mount Royal Hotel, Marble Arch, at the society's Annual Ball. 

In 1856 an unpromising young student named William Schwenk Gilbert entered the hallowed corridors of Kings College London to devote himself to stern philosophies. Following the finest traditions of Kings, Will soon found that he had abandoned his studies and was spending much of his time in local ale houses, quaffing great jugs of Old Rosy's finest and leering at the pedestrians who wore only four petticoats. It was in one such place that he met the adolescent but brilliantly talented composer, 'Artie' Sullivan. United by a love of beer and cheap innuendo, the pair were quickly collaborating to compose a string of comic opera for a limited spell of performance at Kings College. Smutty, unintellectual and lacking in any entertainment value whatsoever, these operetta were poorly received by the public and were consequently abandoned by their creators (although much of the music was to be resurrected by Artie for use in his later works). Consigned to the trash heap of history and often believed to be mythical, manuscripts have recently been discovered in the vaults of King's College and have been lovingly restored for public performance for the first time in nearly one hundred and fifty years. Originally sponsored by a Westminster sausage merchant, we present the resurrection of Will and Artie's lost works - THE SAVELOY OPERAS.

Lost Opera Number One - 'Count Spatula' or 'Castle Not-So-Adamant'
As a conscientious student, Will was never very far from the Lyceum Tavern, a well known haunt of the struggling Irish novelist, Abraham ‘Bram’ Stoker. Waking up in a puddle of beer one evening, Will overheard Stoker explain an idea he had for a gothic horror novel about a Transylvanian aristocratic vampire. Never one to be troubled by copyright restrictions, Will stole the idea, stitched Stoker up, and hurriedly completed his very first collaboration with Artie – COUNT SPATULA

Dramatis Personae

Count Lionel Spatula III  
(a Vampyre)  
Sir Chortley Cummings  
(a Campanologist)  
Dr. Helmut von Picklehaube  
(a Vampyre-hunter)  
Otto Dummkopf   
(the Count's Butler)  
Dame Agnes Spatula  
(the Count's Mother)  
Cissy Poultwhistle  
(Sir Chortley's Fiancee)  
Zosha Boots  
(a Village Maid)  
- Trevor Brown 

- Luke Leeves 

- Jon Pickles 

- Huw Morgan 

- Becca Robinson 

- Kate Dews 

- Karen Kelly

Production Team
Musical Director 
Huw Morgan 
Luke Leeves 
Megan Stuart 
Carlo Prina